“Will I see my spouse in heaven? Will we still be married?”

These questions pierce the heart of every Christian who has lost a beloved partner or fears the thought of separation. When we turn to Mark 12:25, Jesus’ words can initially sound devastating: “When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.”

But what if Jesus isn’t announcing bad news—He’s revealing something infinitely better? Understanding these words correctly brings profound comfort, not despair.

 

THE TRAP THAT BACKFIRED

To understand Jesus’ meaning, we must first understand the context. The Sadducees, who denied resurrection entirely, approached Jesus with what they thought was a clever trap. They spun a ridiculous tale about seven brothers who each married the same woman after the previous husband died (following the law of levirate marriage). “Whose wife will she be in the resurrection?” they asked with smug satisfaction.

Their goal wasn’t genuine theological enquiry—they wanted to make the doctrine of resurrection look absurd. If resurrection were true, they reasoned, it would create impossible complications in the afterlife.

Jesus’ response cuts through their cynicism with surgical precision. He addresses both their flawed theology and their failure to grasp God’s power. But notice: He doesn’t diminish the beauty of earthly marriage. Instead, He reveals the breathtaking reality of heavenly existence.

 

WHAT JESUS IS ACTUALLY SAYING

When Jesus says there’s no marriage in heaven, He’s not announcing the end of love or relationship. He’s revealing marriage, as beautiful as it is, belongs to this present age. Marriage serves specific purposes in our fallen world: companionship in loneliness, procreation for continuing the human race, and most profoundly, serving as a living picture of Christ’s relationship with His church (Ephesians 5:31-32).

The Reformed tradition holds earthly marriage as being a shadow pointing to ultimate reality. As the Westminster Confession teaches, marriage is “ordained for the mutual help of husband and wife, for the increase of mankind with legitimate issue, and of the church with an holy seed; and for preventing of uncleanness.” These purposes reach their ultimate fulfillment in the age to come.

When Jesus says we’ll be “like the angels,” He’s not suggesting we become angels. Rather, He’s indicating we’ll share their unmarried state—not because we’ve lost something precious, but because we’ve gained something infinitely greater.

John Calvin captured this beautifully: “The condition of the heavenly life is far more excellent than that of the present life.” The reason there’s no marriage in heaven isn’t that God is taking away something good, but that He’s giving us something better.

 

WHAT JESUS IS NOT SAYING

Jesus’ words don’t mean our earthly relationships are meaningless or forgotten. Scripture never suggests heaven involves a cosmic amnesia where we lose our identity or forget those we’ve loved. The disciples recognised Jesus after His resurrection, and He remained distinctly Himself, though glorified.

Heaven isn’t about subtraction—it’s about addition. We don’t lose our capacity for love; we gain the ability to love perfectly. We don’t forget our earthly bonds; we find them transformed and fulfilled in ways we can barely imagine.

Consider this: every good thing about marriage—the deep intimacy, the unbreakable commitment, the joy of perfect unity—these aren’t eliminated in heaven. They’re consummated. What we’ve tasted in marriage is a mere appetiser for the feast of love we’ll experience in perfect union with Christ.

 

THE REFORMED TRADITION’S COMFORT

The Puritan divines understood something profound about marriage that brings immense comfort to this question. They taught marriage is God’s school for teaching us about heavenly love. Every moment of marital joy, every experience of faithful commitment, every glimpse of perfect unity trains our hearts for the ultimate relationship with Christ.

Richard Baxter, the great Puritan pastor, wrote to his beloved wife: “The love I bore to you was such as I could not bear to see you suffer, and such as I could not bear to think of parting with you. But I now see that this love was but a shadow of that love which I ought to bear to Christ.”

This doesn’t diminish earthly love—it reveals its ultimate purpose. Our marriages are preparing us for something greater. The faithfulness we show our spouses is practice for eternal faithfulness to Christ. The intimacy we’ve shared is a foretaste of perfect communion with our Creator.

The Westminster Larger Catechism asks, “What is the communion in glory with Christ which the members of the invisible church enjoy immediately after death?” The answer speaks of being “made perfect in holiness” and “receiving the full fruition of God.” This is what we’re being prepared for.

 

PRACTICAL HOPE FOR EVERY HEART

For those grieving a spouse, here’s the beautiful truth: our love stories aren’t ending—they’re being transformed into something more glorious than we can imagine. The love you shared was real, precious, and purposeful. It was God’s gift to you and His preparation of you for perfect love.

For those currently married, may we treasure our relationship as God’s generous gift and His schoolmaster preparing us for glory. Every act of selfless love, every moment of faithful commitment, every experience of marital joy is training us for the ultimate relationship with Christ.

For those who’re single, you’re not missing out on heaven’s preparation course. Your singleness gives you a unique foretaste of the unmarried state we’ll all enjoy in glory. As Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7, your undivided devotion to Christ is actually a preview of heaven’s reality.

 

THE PROMISE THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING

Jesus’ words in Mark 12:25 aren’t about losing what we love—they’re about finding what we’ve always truly been searching for. Every longing for perfect love, every desire for unbreakable commitment, every hope for complete understanding will be fulfilled not in the continuation of earthly marriage, but in the consummation of our relationship with Christ.

CS Lewis, in his grief over losing his wife, Joy, came to understand this truth: “The pain now is part of the happiness then. That’s the deal.” The love we’ve known in marriage isn’t lost—it’s the very thing that makes us capable of receiving the perfect love of Christ.

In heaven, we won’t miss marriage because we’ll have everything marriage was meant to give us, and infinitely more. We’ll experience perfect intimacy without barriers, unshakeable commitment without fear, and complete understanding without misunderstanding.

 

NO MARRIAGE IN HEAVEN? THE BETTER COUNTRY

When Jesus spoke of no marriage in heaven, He was revealing the stunning truth God has prepared something better than our highest earthly joy. Marriage, in all its beauty, is merely the opening note of a symphony that will crescendo for all eternity.

The Reformed tradition has always held that our earthly lives are pilgrimage toward “a better country, that is, a heavenly one” (Hebrews 11:16). Marriage is part of that pilgrimage—a beautiful, God-given part—but it’s not the destination.

So when Jesus says there’s no marriage in heaven, He’s not announcing loss. He’s promising gain beyond our wildest dreams. He’s saying that everything we’ve loved about marriage—and more than we could ever love—awaits us in perfect communion with Him.

That’s not just good news. That’s the best news imaginable.

 

NO MARRIAGE IN HEAVEN? RELATED FAQs

Do contemporary Reformed theologians differ in their interpretation of Mark 12:25? While Reformed theologians unanimously agree marriage ceases in heaven, there’s nuanced discussion about the nature of relationships in the resurrection. John Piper emphasises all earthly relationships are swallowed up in the superior joy of Christ, while theologians like Sam Storms suggest earthly bonds are transformed rather than eliminated. RC Sproul taught we’ll recognise loved ones but our primary relationship will be with Christ, making all other relationships secondary but not meaningless.

• Will we recognise our spouses and family members in heaven? Yes, Scripture strongly suggests we’ll recognise one another in the resurrection. Jesus was recognisable after His resurrection (though sometimes initially unrecognised), and the disciples retained their distinct identities. Contemporary Reformed theologian Wayne Grudem argues our glorified bodies will be recognisable continuations of our earthly bodies, perfected but not entirely different. The recognition will likely be even clearer than earthly recognition, as we’ll see each other as God sees us.
• How does Jesus’ statement about angels relate to our understanding of heavenly existence? Jesus’ comparison to angels doesn’t mean we become angels or lose our humanity. Reformed theologian Michael Horton explains angels are unmarried beings who exist in perfect fellowship with God without need for human institutions such as marriage. We’ll be “like angels” in our unmarried state and direct communion with God, but we remain glorified humans with resurrection bodies. This comparison emphasises the sufficiency of divine relationship in eternity.

What about couples who feel their marriage is central to their Christian identity? Reformed pastoral theologian David Powlison addressed this concern by distinguishing between marriage as a means of grace and marriage as ultimate identity. While marriage powerfully shapes us and teaches us about Christ’s love, it’s a temporary earthly calling rather than our eternal identity. Contemporary Reformed counsellor Paul Tripp emphasises the deepest longings marriage satisfies—for intimacy, security, and love—find their ultimate fulfillment in Christ. Marriage sanctifies us for something greater, not lesser.

• How should this teaching affect how we view remarriage after a spouse’s death? Reformed theologians consistently teach death dissolves the marriage covenant, freeing the surviving spouse to remarry. John MacArthur emphasizes that Jesus’ words actually support this view—since marriage belongs to this age only, death truly ends the marital bond. This gives biblical freedom for remarriage without concern about conflicting loyalties in heaven. The Westminster Confession explicitly affirms that marriage is “till death do us part,” making remarriage not just permissible but potentially wise and good.
• Does this passage suggest procreation and child-rearing are less important since they’re temporary? Not at all—Reformed theology has always held temporary callings can be profoundly meaningful. Timothy Keller taught marriage and family are “penultimate” goods—supremely important for this age while pointing to ultimate eternal realities. The cultural mandate to “be fruitful and multiply” remains a high calling that serves God’s purposes and trains us for eternal relationship. These temporary institutions have eternal significance precisely because they prepare us for heaven’s greater realities.

How do we comfort children who worry about their parents’ marriage ending in heaven? Reformed family ministry experts like Tedd Tripp suggest helping children understand that heaven isn’t about losing good things but gaining better things. Explain that the love, security, and joy they experience in their family is a taste of God’s perfect love that will surround them eternally. Their parents’ love for each other and for them is training for the perfect love they’ll experience with Jesus. Rather than separation, heaven offers the ultimate family reunion where everyone who knows Christ will be perfectly united in love.

 

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