What happens when one spouse comes to faith in Christ and the other doesn’t? Should believing partners leave to protect their newfound status? Or does staying somehow compromise their spiritual purity?

These questions tormented the early Corinthian church. And Paul’s answer in 1 Corinthians 7:14 has puzzled readers ever since: “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband.”

Wait—sanctified? The unbeliever? How does that work? And what does it mean for mixed-faith marriages today?

 

THE CONTEXT: CORINTHIAN CHAOS

The Corinthian Christians were wrestling with radical misconceptions about holiness. Some had concluded remaining married to an unbeliever would defile them—contaminate their faith, corrupt their children, compromise their witness. Better to divorce and preserve spiritual purity, they reasoned.

Paul demolishes this logic. The dynamic, he insists, works in reverse. Rather than unbelief polluting faith, faith sanctifies unbelief. As Kevin DeYoung explains, “Paul is preventing separation, not promising conversion.”

Paul isn’t offering a conversion guarantee or promising our spouse will eventually come to faith. He’s addressing a specific fear: that staying married somehow threatens our standing before God. It doesn’t. In fact, our presence brings blessing, not contamination.

 

WHAT SANCTIFICATION MEANS HERE

So how is the unbelieving spouse “sanctified”? We need to understand Scripture uses the word “sanctify” (or “holy”) in different ways. Sometimes it refers to personal salvation—being made holy through faith in Christ. But here, it refers to something different: covenantal or positional holiness.

Think of it this way: the believing spouse brings their entire household under the umbrella of God’s covenant community. The unbeliever receives genuine spiritual benefit through proximity to God’s people. As Tim Keller beautifully puts it, “The unbelieving spouse lives inside the sphere of grace whether they feel it or not.”

This is household holiness, not personal salvation. It’s relational standing, not individual regeneration. Sinclair Ferguson captures it perfectly: “Holiness here is relative, not absolute.”

Paul proves his point with an illustration about children. In verse 14, he notes the children of such unions are “holy.” Does this mean they’re automatically saved? Of course not. They still need personal faith in Christ as they grow. But they’re born within the covenant community, raised in a home where God is honoured, surrounded by gospel influence. They’re “holy” in standing and privilege, even if not yet in personal experience.

The same applies to the unbelieving spouse. The marriage itself becomes a conduit of God’s common grace—his general kindness to all people. As Keller says, “The gospel leaks holiness into the hardest homes.”

 

WHAT SANCTIFICATION IS NOT

But we must be clear about what this sanctification doesn’t mean.

• It’s not automatic justification. The unbelieving spouse isn’t saved simply by being married to a Christian. There’s a crucial distinction between positional holiness and saving faith. Justification—being declared righteous before God—comes only through personal repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. This sanctification doesn’t save. Only Christ saves, and only through faith.
• It’s not infused righteousness. Reformed theology rejects any notion that grace transfers mechanically through relationships. The unbeliever isn’t made personally holy by some kind of spiritual osmosis. Their nature hasn’t changed. Their guilt before God remains. Marriage to a believer brings real benefits, but not ontological transformation—not a change in their fundamental being.
• It’s not a replacement for personal faith. Each person must come to Christ individually. There’s no such thing as salvation by marriage. The Great Commission still applies to your unbelieving spouse. They still need to hear the gospel, respond in faith, repent of sin, and trust in Christ alone. This sanctification creates opportunity and influence, not a substitute for conversion.
• It’s not a guarantee of conversion. While we should earnestly pray and work for our spouse’s salvation (as Paul acknowledges in verse 16), he doesn’t promise it will happen. The sanctifying presence of a believing spouse creates favourable conditions, not inevitable results. Many faithful believers live entire lives married to unbelievers who never convert. This passage doesn’t promise otherwise, and we shouldn’t claim what Scripture doesn’t.

 

WHAT THIS DOES MEAN

So what’s the practical upshot for the believer with an unbelieving spouse?

Your marriage is legitimate and blessed, not defiled. You should remain if possible—assuming there’s no abuse or persistent abandonment. Your children are born within the covenant community, recipients of its promises and privileges. Your home becomes a place where God’s presence dwells through you, the believer.

Common grace blessings flow more freely. The unbelieving spouse receives the daily witness of gospel transformation. They see Christ’s power to change a life up close. You serve as a living apologetic—evidence that following Jesus produces love, patience, kindness, and faithfulness even in difficult circumstances.

There is real spiritual benefit to being married to a Christian, even without conversion. Your faithfulness matters. It accomplishes more than you realise, even when you can’t see results.

What are the covenant benefits for unbelieving spouses of being married to a believer? The unbelieving spouse receives tangible spiritual advantages even without personal salvation. They live under the prayers of a righteous person, which Scripture says are “powerful and effective” (James 5:16). They experience God’s common grace more abundantly—often seeing answered prayer, divine protection, and providential care that extends to the entire household. Reformed theologian Michael Horton notes they also gain regular exposure to gospel truth, witness authentic Christian character up close, and often experience the “spill-over blessings” of living with someone whose life is ordered by biblical wisdom. While these benefits don’t save, they create the most favourable possible environment for the Holy Spirit to work conviction and draw them toward faith.

 

SO TAKE HEART

If you’re married to an unbeliever, Paul’s words offer profound comfort. Your faith creates a sphere of grace in your home. The gospel really does leak holiness into hard places. Your presence matters. Your prayers count. Your witness makes a difference.

Remain faithful. Pray persistently. Live winsomely. Trust God with outcomes while being faithful to your calling.

God honours your obedience and tears even when you cannot see the fruit.

 

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RELATED FAQs

What if my unbelieving spouse wants to leave? Should I fight to keep them? Paul addresses this directly in verse 15: “If the unbeliever leaves, let it be so.” You’re not bound in such circumstances. Reformed pastor and counsellor Paul Tripp emphasises that while believers should work to preserve their marriages, they cannot control their spouse’s choices. God calls us to peace, not to emotional manipulation or guilt-driven tactics to force an unwilling spouse to stay.

• Does this sanctification apply to couples who were both unbelievers when they married? Absolutely. The principle applies whenever one spouse comes to genuine faith, regardless of the marriage’s origins. John Piper notes the Corinthian situation likely involved many such cases—pagan couples where one converted after marriage. The moment we become a believer, we bring covenant blessings into our existing marriage.
• Can I take communion with my unbelieving spouse present at church? Yes, and many Reformed churches encourage this as a powerful witness. Your spouse’s presence doesn’t defile the sacrament; rather, they’re witnessing a profound mystery. Tim Keller observed that having unbelieving family members observe communion often plants seeds of curiosity about what this meal means and why it matters so deeply to believers.

What if I married an unbeliever after becoming a Christian—does this verse still apply? While this verse addresses those already married when one converts, Reformed counsellors like Winston Smith caution that disobeying 2 Corinthians 6:14 (about not being unequally yoked) has consequences. The sanctifying principle still operates because God is gracious, but you’ve chosen a harder path. Your disobedience doesn’t nullify God’s covenant faithfulness, but you’ve forfeited the simpler blessings of a shared-faith marriage from the start.

• How do I witness to my spouse without being “preachy” or pushy? Peter’s counsel in 1 Peter 3:1-2 is crucial: win them “without words” through godly conduct. DA Carson emphasises nagging sermons at home usually backfire, while transformed character speaks volumes. Live out your faith naturally—pray before meals, attend church faithfully, respond to conflict with grace, serve sacrificially—and let your spouse observe the difference Christ makes without constant verbal pressure.
• What about spiritual disciplines like family worship—should I try to include my unbelieving spouse? Reformed counsellors generally recommend gentle invitation without coercion. You might read Scripture and pray with children while your spouse is present, making space for them to join without pressure. Sinclair Ferguson suggests many unbelieving spouses gradually become curious when they see the peace and joy these practices bring, but forced participation breeds resentment, not faith.

My spouse mocks my faith and makes church attendance difficult. How do I honour both God and my marriage? This is one of the hardest situations, and Reformed counsellors emphasise the need for wisdom and outside support. Continue attending church faithfully (Hebrews 10:25), but also demonstrate Christlike patience at home. Joel Beeke notes some of church history’s most powerful conversion stories involved spouses who endured mockery with grace for years before their partner’s heart softened. But remember, you also need pastoral counsel and Christian community to sustain you through this trial.

 

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