Picture this: You’re standing on a cliff’s edge, ready to paraglide with your closest friend. The wind is perfect, the view breathtaking. She’s eager and all set to go first, but you notice something terrifying—her harness isn’t properly secured. The consequences of your silence could be fatal.

Would you stay quiet to avoid awkwardness? Or probably think it’s none of your business. Or would love compel you to speak up, even if she might be annoyed?

This scenario captures the heart of true friendship—and reveals why Jesus calling us “friends” should shake us to our core. When the stakes are eternal, love cannot remain silent.

 

THE ONE WHO CALLS YOU FRIEND

“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:15)

Stop for a moment. Who exactly is making this declaration?

This isn’t our college roommate or our childhood buddy extending friendship. This is the eternal Word who spoke galaxies into existence with a breath. This is the Holy One of Israel whose thoughts tower above ours as the heavens tower above the earth. This is the Judge of all mankind before whom every knee will bow and every tongue confess His lordship.

The King of kings—the One who commands angels and rules over nations—looks at us and says, “Friend.”

Let that sink in. The sovereign Lord of glory, who owes us nothing and needs nothing from us, condescends to call rebels like us His friends. This isn’t Jesus the nice teacher or moral example speaking. This is the Creator of the universe choosing to bridge an infinite gap. A gap it takes God to fill.

The magnitude of this friendship isn’t measured by our worthiness—it’s measured by His infinite majesty. When the God who holds stars in His hand calls us friend, we’re standing on holy ground.

 

THE ONES HE CALLS FRIEND

But here’s where it gets even more shocking. Look in the mirror. Who is He calling friend?

Scripture pulls no punches about our condition before His friendship found us. We were enemies by nature (Romans 5:10), actively rebelling against the God who gave us breath. We were dead in our trespasses (Ephesians 2:1), spiritually lifeless corpses unable to respond to His call. We were children of wrath (Ephesians 2:3), deserving only judgment for our cosmic treason.

Paul puts it bluntly: “There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God” (Romans 3:10-11).

We brought absolutely nothing to this friendship. No hidden goodness that caught His eye. No secret seeking after God that earned His attention. No ability to choose Him apart from His sovereign grace reaching down and giving us new hearts.

This friendship exists for one reason only: His initiative. His choice. His unchanging love.

He chose us before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4)—not after we cleaned up our act or proved our worth. He chose us while we were still His enemy (Romans 5:8), not after we made the first move toward Him. He chose us not because of works we had done (Ephesians 2:8-9), but purely by grace through faith.

This should stop us in our tracks. The friendship isn’t based on our lovability—it’s anchored in His unchanging character. We didn’t earn it. And we can’t lose it. It’s grace, pure and simple.

 

WHEN JESUS CALL US FRIEND: THE PRICE HE PAID

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).

But this friendship came at a cost that should make us weep.

The infinite Son of God became finite flesh, glory veiled in human skin. He walked among those who despised and rejected Him (Isaiah 53:3). He endured mockery, betrayal, and abandonment by those closest to Him.

Then came the cross.

This wasn’t just a tragic miscarriage of justice or a powerful example of love. This was the Son of God bearing the exact penalty our sins deserved. Every lie we’ve told, every moment of pride, every time we’ve chosen ourselves over God—He took it all upon Himself and drank the full cup of God’s wrath against sin.

He experienced separation from the Father so we never have to. He bore our shame so we could wear His righteousness. He died our death so we could live His life.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).

This is what Jesus did for us. The ultimate expression of friendship love.

 

WHEN JESUS CALL US FRIEND: OUR RESPONSE

Now we’re back at that cliff’s edge. If we truly grasp the friendship Jesus offers—if we understand what He sacrificed to call us friend—how can we stay silent when our friends face eternal danger?

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters” (1 John 3:16).

The cliff’s edge is real. “People are destined to die once, and after that to face judgement” (Hebrews 9:27). Our friends, our family members, our coworkers who don’t know Christ—they’re standing on that precipice with faulty harnesses, unaware of the danger.

Love compels us to speak.

Have we shared the Gospel with our closest friends? Have we warned them about the judgement to come and proclaimed the grace available in Christ? Have we been willing to risk temporary awkwardness for their eternal good?

We’re not trying to make God’s election effective—His purposes will stand. But His election becomes effective through our faithful witness. He has chosen to use our voices, our relationships, our willingness to speak uncomfortable truths in love.

The stakes couldn’t be higher. Time is short. Eternity is long.

 

THE FRIENDSHIP THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING

When the King of Glory calls us friend, everything changes. The wretched become beloved. Enemies become family. The condemned find eternal life and purpose beyond imagination.

This friendship cost Him everything—His comfort, His glory, His very life. It should cost us something too. At minimum, it should cost us our silence when others face the same cliff’s edge we once stood on.

Our friend at the precipice needs to hear the truth. The Gospel isn’t just good news for us—it’s the only hope for everyone we love who doesn’t yet know Christ.

The friendship that saved us compels us to speak. The choice is ours. But let’s remember—He didn’t stay indifferent when our eternity hung in the balance.

 

WHEN JESUS CALL US FRIEND: RELATED FAQs

Who was the first Christian to become martyr, who died for sharing the Gospel with friends? Stephen, the first Christian martyr (Acts 7), exemplifies laying down one’s life for friends. As he was being stoned, he prayed for his persecutors’ forgiveness, demonstrating the same love Christ showed on the cross. His faithful witness unto death planted seeds in Saul of Tarsus, who later became the apostle Paul. Reformed theologian John Calvin noted Stephen’s death became the catalyst for the Gospel’s spread beyond Jerusalem.

How did Polycarp demonstrate friendship love through martyrdom? Polycarp of Smyrna (69-155 AD) was burned at the stake at age 86 after refusing to renounce Christ. When given the chance to save his life, he declared, “86 years I have served Him, and He has done me no wrong. How can I blaspheme my King and Saviour?” His martyrdom inspired countless believers and demonstrated true friendship with Christ surpasses even the love of life itself. Reformed scholar JI Packer emphasised Polycarp’s death showed the transforming power of Gospel friendship.

What can we learn from Jim Elliot’s sacrifice? Jim Elliot and four missionary companions were killed in 1956 while attempting to reach the Waodani tribe in Ecuador. Elliot famously wrote, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” Their deaths opened doors for the Gospel among the Waodani people, with their own families later ministering to their killers. Reformed missionary statesman John Stott called their sacrifice a perfect example of “greater love has no one than this”—laying down life for friends who didn’t yet know they needed salvation.

How do we view martyrdom in relation to Gospel witness? Reformed theologians consistently teach martyrdom represents the highest expression of friendship evangelism—literally dying so others might live eternally. John Calvin wrote martyrs “seal with their blood” the truth they proclaimed with their lips. Contemporary Reformed scholar Sinclair Ferguson notes martyrdom demonstrates Gospel friendship is worth more than life itself. The Westminster Confession emphasises that such ultimate sacrifice glorifies God and often becomes the very means by which He draws others to salvation.

What did Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s execution reveal about costly friendship? Dietrich Bonhoeffer, executed by the Nazis in 1945, demonstrated friendship with Christ sometimes requires opposing earthly powers that threaten others. His famous phrase “cheap grace” challenged believers to count the cost of discipleship. Bonhoeffer chose death rather than silent complicity in genocide, showing love for Jewish friends required ultimate sacrifice. Tim Keller noted Bonhoeffer embodied the principle that “when Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.”

How did early Christian martyrs impact their persecutors and friends? The blood of martyrs became “the seed of the church,” as Tertullian observed. Many persecutors were converted by witnessing the peace and forgiveness of dying Christians. Justin Martyr’s calm demeanour at his execution in 165 AD reportedly led several observers to faith. Reformed historian Philip Schaff documented how martyrs’ testimonies often accomplished more in death than their preaching had in life, proving that ultimate friendship love transforms even enemies into friends.

What do Reformed leaders say about martyrdom today? John Piper teaches that martyrdom represents the ultimate “don’t waste your life” moment—trading temporary breath for eternal impact. He emphasises that martyrs demonstrate the “superior satisfaction” found in Christ over all earthly pleasures, including life itself. RC Sproul noted that martyrs prove the Gospel’s truth by their willingness to die rather than recant. John MacArthur said martyrdom shows the world that friendship with Jesus is worth infinitely more than friendship with this passing world.

 

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