Does Grief Cancel Christian Joy? Or Can the Two Coexist?

Published On: August 7, 2025

At the funeral of missionary Graham Staines and his two young sons—burned alive by extremists while the three were asleep in their jeep—something extraordinary happened. Gladys Staines, the widow and grieving mother, stood before the world and declared she’d forgiven those who’d murdered her family. Then, in a moment that stunned secular observers, she began singing the hymn, “Because He Lives, I Can Face Tomorrow.”

To the watching world, the scene defied all logic. How could someone experience such devastating loss yet simultaneously express forgiveness and hope? This paradox lies at the heart of biblical Christianity—the profound truth that deepest grief and deepest joy can occupy the same heart at the same moment, anchored in the blessed hope of Christ’s resurrection.

TWO KINDS OF JOY: WORLDS APART

The confusion stems from fundamentally different notions of joy itself. The world knows only happiness—a fleeting emotion dependent on favourable circumstances. When life goes well, we’re happy. When tragedy strikes, happiness vanishes. It’s that simple.

But biblical joy operates on an entirely different plane. While worldly happiness depends on external conditions—health, success, relationships—Christian joy finds its source in unchanging theological realities.

The Apostle Paul describes joy as “fruit of the Spirit” (Galatians 5:22), not fruit of circumstances. It flows from God’s sovereignty (Romans 8:28), our eternal inheritance (1 Peter 1:4), our union with Christ (Colossians 3:3), our justification by faith (Romans 5:1-2), and supremely—as Gladys celebrated through the hymn—the blessed hope of Christ’s resurrection (1 Peter 1:3).

This explains Paul’s stunning declaration: “sorrowful, yet always rejoicing” (2 Corinthians 6:10). He wasn’t describing emotions that alternated but coexisted. Joy and sorrow address different realities—temporal versus eternal, human perspective versus divine perspective.

BIBLE HEROES WHO GRIEVED AND REJOICED SIMULTANEOUSLY

Scripture overflows with examples of this beautiful paradox:

David exemplifies it in Psalm 13. He begins with desperate lament: “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?” Yet in the same psalm, without any change in circumstances, he declares: “But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me” (Psalm 13:5-6).

Job provides perhaps the most powerful example. From the ash heap, having lost everything, he grieved deeply yet proclaimed: “I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last he will stand upon the earth” (Job 19:25). His joy in God’s character persisted while he mourned devastating losses.

Jesus Himself demonstrates this ultimate paradox. Isaiah called him “a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3), yet Hebrews tells us that “for the joy that was set before him” he “endured the cross” (Hebrews 12:2). Even experiencing perfect anguish, Jesus maintained perfect joy in the Father’s will and the resurrection victory He would accomplish. Like Gladys Staines centuries later, Christ’s joy was anchored not in present circumstances but in resurrection hope—the blessed assurance that death would not have the final word.

The apostles continued this pattern. After being beaten for preaching Christ, they left “rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonour for the name” (Acts 5:41). Peter encouraged believers to “rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings” (1 Peter 4:13).

WHY THE WORLD CANNOT GRASP THIS TRUTH

That sorrow and joy can be simultaneous baffles unbelievers. This is because “the natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned” (1 Corinthians 2:14). Without the Holy Spirit, joy can only be understood in material, temporal terms.

The Beatitudes reveal this upside-down Kingdom value system: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” (Matthew 5:4). While the world values comfort, success, and ease, God’s Kingdom values faithfulness, righteousness, and eternal perspective.

Paul captured this perfectly: “For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18). Without faith in eternal realities, present circumstances become ultimate.

HOW THIS JOY CAN BE FOUND

Here’s the remarkable truth: this joy is absolutely free, but only Christians can possess it. Why? Because it requires a relationship with the God who is its source.

This joy grows through Scripture meditation. The psalmist declared, “Your testimonies are my heritage forever, for they are the joy of my heart” (Psalm 119:111). God’s promises and character, revealed in His Word, become the foundation of unshakeable joy.

Prayer and communion with God cultivate this joy. “In your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11). Jesus promised, “These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full” (John 15:11).

Remembering God’s past faithfulness builds this joy. When overwhelmed, the psalmist chose to “remember the deeds of the Lord” (Psalm 77:11). Each testimony of God’s character becomes a foundation stone for future joy.

Focusing on eternal realities sustains this joy. Paul taught us to “set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” (Colossians 3:1-2). Present sufferings are “not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us” (Romans 8:18). This is why Gladys Staines could sing of tomorrow’s hope while burying her husband and children—the resurrection gives Christians not just courage but joy that transcends any earthly tragedy.

But here’s the crucial point: this joy requires being a Christian. How does one become a Christian? By recognising we are sinners separated from God (Romans 3:23), that Christ died for our sins and rose again (1 Corinthians 15:3-4), and by trusting in Jesus alone for salvation (Acts 16:31). “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9).

DOES GRIEF CANCEL CHRISTIAN JOY? LIVING THE PARADOX

This isn’t mere theory—it’s lived Christian experience. When Gladys Staines forgave her family’s killers and sang of resurrection hope, she demonstrated God gives His people permission to grieve fully while rejoicing deeply. This paradox testifies to the watching world of God’s sustaining grace and the blessed hope that anchors Christian joy.

The prophet Habakkuk captured this beautifully: “Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines…yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation” (Habakkuk 3:17-18).

Christian joy doesn’t desert us in seasons of grief—it sustains us through them. While “weeping may tarry for the night,” we live in the assured reality that God’s “joy comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5). Not as sequential timing, but as the eternal dawn of resurrection hope that no earthly darkness can overcome. Because He lives, we can face tomorrow—not just with courage, but with inexplicable, unshakeable joy.

DOES GRIEF CANCEL CHRISTIAN JOY? RELATED FAQs

How did Polycarp demonstrate joy while being burned at the stake? When the 86-year-old bishop Polycarp was sentenced to death in 155 AD, he thanked God for counting him worthy to share in Christ’s sufferings. As flames surrounded him, he prayed aloud with joy, blessing God for the privilege of martyrdom. His final prayer was one of praise and thanksgiving, demonstrating that even facing excruciating death, Christian joy in God’s sovereignty remained unshaken.

What was remarkable about Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s attitude before his execution? Just before his hanging at Flossenbürg concentration camp in 1945, Bonhoeffer conducted a worship service for fellow prisoners and declared, “This is the end—for me, the beginning of life.” The camp doctor later testified he had never seen a man die so entirely submissive to God’s will, with such inner peace and joy. His letters from prison overflow with theological joy despite facing Nazi persecution and certain death.
How did Jim Elliot express joy knowing he might die as a missionary? Before his martyrdom by Waodani warriors in Ecuador in 1956, Jim Elliot famously wrote, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” Even knowing the dangers, Elliot’s journals reveal consistent joy in serving Christ and anticipation of eternal reward. His widow Elisabeth later said his greatest joy was not in safety but in obedience to Christ’s call, regardless of the cost.

What did Perpetua sing while being led to the amphitheatre to face wild beasts? In 203 AD, 22-year-old Perpetua walked to her martyrdom in Carthage singing psalms with radiant joy on her face. Contemporary accounts describe her as walking “with placid look and quiet step, as the beloved of God, as a wife of Christ.” She refused to be clothed in robes honoring pagan gods, declaring her joy came from Christ alone, and she faced the wild beasts with supernatural peace.

How did Richard Wurmbrand maintain joy during 14 years of Communist torture? Romanian pastor Richard Wurmbrand spent 14 years in Communist prisons, enduring unspeakable torture. Yet he testified that in the deepest solitary confinement, he danced for joy and preached sermons to himself about God’s love. He wrote his greatest joy wasn’t when released, but when he realised even torture couldn’t separate him from Christ’s love. His joy was so evident that fellow prisoners asked him to share the source of his hope.
What sustained Corrie ten Boom’s joy in the Nazi concentration camps? In Ravensbrück concentration camp, Corrie ten Boom held secret worship services and found joy in God’s Word despite watching her sister Betsie die from brutality. She later testified that even in humanity’s darkest moments, she experienced “inexpressible joy” because God’s promises remained true. Betsie’s dying words were about the joy of telling others “there is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still.”

How did the Coptic martyrs of Libya demonstrate joy before their beheading by ISIS? In 2015, 21 Coptic Christians were beheaded by ISIS on a beach in Libya, and video footage shows many of them praying and praising God even as they faced death. Witnesses reported several of them called on the name of Jesus Christ with joy, not fear. Their families later testified these men had found their greatest joy not in earthly security but in their identity as followers of Christ, willing to die rather than deny Him.

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