A reader writes: I’ve had two abortions in the past, and even though I’ve had an adorable baby since then, I can’t shake this overwhelming sense of shame and guilt. Will God ever forgive me for aborting my babies? Is this guilt real, or am I just imagining it? I feel so torn and don’t know where to turn.

Your question reveals you’re struggling under a heavy burden of guilt, grappling with profound grief. Well, your feelings are valid, and they do matter. The sting of guilt you’re experiencing isn’t a figment of your imagination, and it isn’t something that can simply be brushed away. But as much as the guilt is a painful reality, it’s a blessing in disguise, a divine catalyst—a holy restlessness that propels us toward the very heart of God. It’s God’s tool to drive us to Himself, the One who offers forgiveness and restoration (Matthew 11:28-30), which includes, lasting peace that will replace the guilt and shame forever.

Addressing the Guilt

There’s a difference between real guilt and false guilt. Real guilt is a conviction of sin, a recognition we’ve violated God’s law (Romans 2:15). This is the kind of guilt that arises from the conscience God has given us—a conscience that reflects His moral law and points us to repentance. False guilt, on the other hand, is the kind that comes from unnecessary self-condemnation, from an ongoing feeling that we’re unworthy of forgiveness despite God’s promises. The guilt you feel, having aborted two of babies, isn’t false guilt. It is the deep, real conviction of sin.

The Purpose of Guilt

Guilt has a purpose. It’s a tool used by the Holy Spirit to lead us to repentance (2 Corinthians 7:10). That restlessness we feel—the inability to escape the weight of what’s been done—is God gently nudging us towards Himself. The beautiful thing about guilt is it can lead us to a place of healing. It’s not a sign of rejection, but rather, an invitation to seek God’s mercy and grace.

Persistent guilt doesn’t mean you’re unforgiven; rather, it can be a call to trust more deeply in God’s promise of forgiveness, and to seek the healing balm of fellowship with His people.

Understanding God’s Forgiveness

• The Biblical Basis: The good news of the Gospel is that forgiveness is real, and it’s freely available to everyone who seeks it, no matter the sin. Scripture is filled with reminders of God’s mercy. 1 John 1:9 assures us, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Psalm 103:12 tells us that as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Ephesians 1:7 declares that in Christ, we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.
• The Nature of God’s Forgiveness: God’s forgiveness is complete. It’s not partial or conditional—it’s not dependent on you trying to make up for what’s been done. If you have turned to God in repentance and placed your faith in Christ, then your sins, including abortion, are forgiven. Jesus Himself assures us in John 6:37, “Whoever comes to me I will never cast out.” This promise includes you, no matter what you’ve done.

The Role of Jesus Christ

It’s crucial to remember our salvation, including the very ability to seek forgiveness, is itself a gift from God. Remember Ephesians 2:8-9: “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing: it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. ” God in His sovereign mercy draws us to Himself (John 6:44). Our desire for forgiveness and reconciliation, therefore, is evidence of His electing grace at work in our lives.

• The Atonement: The forgiveness you seek has already been paid for by Jesus on the cross. His sacrifice was once for all time, and it covers every sin—including abortion (Hebrews 9:26). Jesus didn’t just die for the “small” sins; He died for the weightiest and most painful sins as well. When He declared, “It is finished” (John 19:30), He meant the debt of sin was fully paid.
• Justification by Faith: Your standing before God isn’t based on your works, but on your faith in Christ. Romans 5:1 reminds us that we are justified by faith and have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. This means that when you trust in Christ, your sin no longer defines you—Christ’s righteousness does. You are clothed in His perfection, and no sin can undo that.

Addressing Common Concerns

• The Unforgivable Sin: One of the most common concerns we hear is the fear of committing the “unforgivable sin.” Rest assured abortion isn’t the unforgivable sin. Jesus makes it clear in Mark 3:28-29, the unforgivable sin is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, which is a hardened, unrepentant rejection of God’s grace. If you’re genuinely remorseful and are seeking forgiveness, you haven’t committed the unforgivable sin. On the contrary, your desire for forgiveness is evidence the Holy Spirit working in your heart.
• Persistent Guilt and Doubt: Guilt that lingers even after seeking forgiveness is a tool the enemy uses to make us doubt God’s promises. Revelation 12:10 calls Satan “the accuser of our brothers,” and one of his primary tactics is to whisper lies about our unworthiness. But Romans 8:1 speaks powerfully against this: “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Trust in the finished work of Christ. God’s promises are true, and His forgiveness is final.

Practical Steps to Embrace Forgiveness

• Turning to Christ in Faith, Contrition and Repentance: The first step toward embracing God’s forgiveness is genuine contrition—a deep sorrow for all our sins, and the recognition of having offended a holy God. Contrition leads to repentance, which means turning away from sin and turning toward God in faith. This turning is not merely a change of behaviour but a change of heart that seeks to align with God’s will. If we have not yet placed our faith in Christ—as our Saviour and Lord—now is the time. Ephesians 1:13 promises that when we believe, we are sealed with the Holy Spirit, who comes to indwell us, and to assure us we are adopted into the family of God and joined to the fellowship of forgiven and redeemed sinners.
• Confession: The next step is confession. 1 John 1:9 is clear—confession is a path to cleansing. This means to lay our sins before God, acknowledging the depth of them, and trusting that He is faithful to forgive. Genuine repentance involves turning away from sin and turning toward God, seeking His will in our lives.
• Resting in God’s Word and His Promises: After confessing, it’s important to actively rest in God’s promises. This can involve regularly meditating on scripture passages that remind us of His forgiveness. Psalm 51 is a beautiful prayer of repentance and restoration, and Psalm 32:1-2 proclaims, “Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.” Let’s now surround ourselves with the truth of God’s Word.
• Prayer and Fellowship: Finally, let’s remain committed to prayer and fellowship with other believers. Having a strong community of believers provides support, encouragement, and reminders of God’s grace. Fellowship also reminds us we’re called to make ourselves available to God’s work in reaching others who are struggling under the weight of guilt. The need is great, and many don’t know where to turn. By sharing our stories of forgiveness and redemption, we can offer hope and point others to the healing found in Christ.

Conclusion: God’s love and mercy are boundless. There is no sin too great His grace cannot cover. Guilt, though painful, is a tool God uses to draw us toward Himself. Like the dad in Christ’s parable of the prodigal son, God longs to forgive and restore us. Let’s place our trust fully in Christ, for He has already paid the price for our forgiveness. The peace and freedom that come from His grace are available to us today. Friend, won’t you rest in them?

RELATED FAQs:

• Why do others who’ve had abortions seem unfazed by guilt? Not everyone experiences guilt in the same way or at the same time. Some may have suppressed their feelings, while others might not yet be convicted by the Holy Spirit. As believers, we should pray for God’s work in their hearts and be ready to offer compassion and the hope of the gospel when they do experience conviction.
• I am a believer in Christ who has repented: how may I continue to have assurance I’m forgiven? Assurance comes from resting in God’s promises, not our feelings. Regularly meditate on scriptures that affirm God’s forgiveness (like 1 John 1:9) and the finality of Christ’s work (Hebrews 10:14). Remember your salvation is secured by God’s faithfulness, not your own, and that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion (Philippians 1:6).
• How can I deal with flashbacks or recurring thoughts about my past abortion? Acknowledge these thoughts as part of your healing process, but don’t let them define you. When they occur, actively replace them with truths from Scripture about God’s forgiveness and your identity in Christ. Consider seeking counsel from a pastor or Christian counselor to help process these thoughts in a biblical manner.
• Is it appropriate to name or hold a memorial service for my aborted child? While not biblically mandated, many find this helpful in their healing process. If you choose to do so, focus on entrusting your child to God’s care and reaffirming your trust in His sovereignty and goodness. Use it as an opportunity to praise God for His forgiveness and the hope of eternal life through Christ.
• How can I support a friend who’s struggling with post-abortion guilt? Listen with compassion and without judgment. Point them to the hope and forgiveness found in Christ, emphasizing God’s love and the sufficiency of Jesus’ sacrifice. Encourage them to seek pastoral counsel and offer to accompany them to a post-abortion recovery group if available.
• Does God forgive repeated abortions? Yes, God’s forgiveness is not limited by the number or nature of our sins. Christ’s sacrifice is sufficient for all sins (1 John 1:7). However, repeated sin often indicates a deeper spiritual issue that needs addressing. Encourage seeking pastoral counsel and developing a biblical understanding of the sanctity of life.
• How can I be an advocate for life without being insensitive to those who’ve had abortions? Approach the topic with grace and compassion, remembering many have been affected by abortion. Focus on the gospel and God’s forgiveness while affirming the value of all human life. Share resources for post-abortion healing alongside your pro-life message, always pointing to Christ as the source of hope and redemption.

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