Pre-Marital Sex: How Far is Too Far?
The Bible’s Clear Teaching
Pre-marital sex: How far is too far? The Bible speaks clearly and repeatedly about the importance of reserving sexual intimacy for marriage. In the Bible, sex outside of marriage is condemned as “fornication” (e.g. 1 Corinthians 6:18). God’s ideal pattern established at Creation was for a man and woman to become “one flesh” within the covenant of marriage (Genesis 2:24).
New Testament Reinforcement The New Testament reinforces this, with Jesus himself upholding the sanctity of marriage (Matthew 19:4-6). The apostle Paul instructs Christians to “flee from sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18). He says the body is “not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord” (1 Corinthians 6:13).
Counter-Cultural but Purposeful So while pre-marital sex may be culturally normalized today, from a biblical perspective it violates God’s design and purpose for sex. Sex is meant to be a pure, unifying, procreative act between a husband and wife expressing committed, covenant love.
Defining Boundaries As for “how far is too far?”—any sexual activity outside of marriage could be considered crossing a line. This includes not just intercourse, but other intimacies such as petting, undressing, and intentionally arousing sexual desire. The biblical call is to “flee” youthful lusts (2 Timothy 2:22) and maintain complete purity until marriage.
Practical Safeguards To avoid temptation, it’s wise to put practical boundaries in place—like avoiding being alone together unchaperoned, dressing modestly, controlling wandering thoughts, and being accountable to others. Most importantly, cultivating a love for God and obedience to His Word provides the power to resist sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18-20).
Honouring God and Future Spouse Staying pure isn’t easy in today’s culture, but it honours God and your future spouse. With prayer, wisdom and loving accountability, it’s absolutely possible to live a life pleasing to the Lord in this area.
The Greatest Gift Among the most precious and intimate gifts you can give your spouse on your wedding night is the gift of your virginity. Remaining pure until marriage allows you to joyfully celebrate complete intimacy as God designed it within the covenant of marriage.
Saving your virginity for your spouse is not just practical advice, but a profound symbol. It represents Christ’s love for the Church and the mutual self-giving at the heart of biblical marriage (Ephesians 5:31-33). Virginity preserved is a tremendous gift of love.
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